Too Stressed To Clean

So begins my self destruction circle. It usually happens when the weather gets crummy like this. I get stressed and put off motherly duties like cleaning, and cooking. Then because I've slacked off I feel overwhelmed... So I continue to not do normal human being stuff like cleaning the bathroom, or cleaning off old paperwork off my dresser.

Oh so true!

Everything begins to pile up... Now I feel unable to do them. The stress mounts on more. I break, finally do one or two "chores" and then I feel like I deserve a few days off. The cycle repeats.

I can't be the only one out there.

It's not that I'm irresponsible. I swear! 


Being at home with my toddler it's expected of me to do like %99 of household duties, and then also misc. stuff for the extended family. If you've ever had a three year old, you know how impossible completing even one task can be some days. Things back up, stuff gets in the way. It's more important for me to make sure Yaya doesn't decide to paint the bathroom in lipstick and baby lotion instead of preparing a casserole.

At some point someone lays serious, or maybe even slight, pressure on me and I break down. This usually ends in me being very angry, or very sad. Usually a combination of both. When I explain why I'm so discombobulated the general response is;

"You stay home, and can sleep in till 11, why on earth can you not even...(insert usually easy task here)".


Of course, without actually experiencing it you cannot truly understand that being a 24/7 stay at home mommy is not surrounded by sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows (on most days). I never sleep in till 11am, and I never fall asleep before midnight.

Then again, I get to enjoy all the wonderful parts. Reading to my daughter when she wants to read. Playing games with her. Cuddling her when she naps. Chasing after her after she grabs my phone and runs away laughing.

Lately, I've come to the belief that I need more "ME" time to relieve the stress so the cycle can not complete. Let me sit back alone and enjoy a coffee. I will fold the laundry when I finish my cup and won't be aggravated when Yaya unfolds the whole pile.